Tuesday, August 08, 2006

There's nothing new and that's the not-so-great thing

So I feel sorta kinda like crap. Chest pains, headache, nausea, joint and muscle pain. I guess I'm just really tired and worn down. I've been working late nights. Like getting home at 2 am. Getting up and going to summer school. Dealing with Dad and Matt and then more of the same. I'm just feeling battered. There's really no fun in my life anymore. I don't do anything fun because I'm either too tired or working or have Dad watch. I'd be crying about everything but I guess I'm just too tired to do that too. I'm supposed to be doing lunch with a friend tomorrow (Wednesday), but she didn't call me so I guess we're not doing anything. Cause I mean, we talked last week and said we were doing lunch and that we'd pick the restaurant when we went out. And then I was like I'm on my way and she was like we didn't plan anything so she planned stuff with her mom. I don't know. Phones work both ways and honestly, I get tired easily. I can't always place calls. It's kinda of grating on me to always call people and never get an answer. I rarely call my mother about stuff anymore. Like when something occurs, if I'm going to be at work before she gets home, I just leave sticky notes on the fridge. If that. I don't know. I just can't seem to be bothered to call people that don't answer the phone. Or if they do, they don't have the time to talk. I can quite easily see how "Mary" just stopped calling people. It's a bit of a blow to the ego to call people and not be wanted.

I'm hungry but too tired to get anything to eat. So my mommy is making me a salad and bringing it to me. Which is nice of her. Cause she's nice. I'm not sure that I can get it down and keep it down but I'm going to make an concentrated effort. Maybe I can get some more sleep. Cause God knows I'm dead tired even though I've been sleeping on and off all day.

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