So I'm slow to learn

I get that. I totally get that. I just wish it weren't so. I'd like to be on the other side of the bridge, where I'm wiser and smarter and I'm not hit over the head so many times with life lessons. I try to be at peace with my life and the way it is I really do. But it's hard. Not my life but liking it. And myself. I still don't like myself. But unlike those people on tv and the movies who are loved in spite of the fact that they're fucked up, I live in the real world and I'm not loved. I really want 2007 to be different. I want to like myself enough, or be able to fake it enough that someone will care deeply about me. And I'm losing this weight. I mean it.