Friday, February 23, 2007

Sharing is supposed to be caring

I care, so why can't I share? I don't understand it. I like to talk. Love it actually. But when it comes to telling the people I care about that I'm struggling, I can't seem to really do it. At least not directly. I'm not sure why that is. I think it's that I don't want to hurt feelings. How do you step to someone and say, I feel abandoned. Don't they feel hurt? Especially if they feel like lately they've been doing great as far as supporting you goes.

When I'm in pain is when it bothers me the most to hurt others. But that doesn't help me. I feel like I'm bleeding on the inside. I hurt. Not just emotionally, but it's coming out physically. I have back pain and wretched leg cramps. It hurts to walk and it hurts to sit. So basically I can lay down and sleep. And I'm so so so awesomely tired. And my stomach is just constantly churning. I feel and I'm sure look like shit.

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