Digging through the shit to get to the truth

I was driving in my car today and it just hit me that I barely know who I am anymore. I just know she's someone I don't like. At all. I'm back where I was a few years ago. I HATE myself completely. I just want to erase myself, tear everything up, start over. And I can't because that's not how stuff works. That's saddening.

I was quite the stupid child growing up. All of my thoughts on life and love and how the world is and how things are supposed to be were such fucking bullshit. Such complete fucking bullshit.