I'm craving it

It's like meth for me.

I want it so bad. I can feel the bite of the knife as my flesh opens up and blood spills out washing away the irritation, the agitation, the hurt feelings.

I can feel the heat of the lighter as fire burns away the disappointment and the pain.

And yet I am unharmed. I've cried a lot today (I haven't gone to sleep yet so my day is not over) but I am essentially unharmed.

Why you ask?

• Stevie
• Mommy
• Andrew

Not that the bottom two give two shits about me right now. One is wrapped up in her husband and her son, the other in some new chick that will surely fuck him over and use him and leave me to clean up the mess and put sweet pea back together again. It's all very Humpty-Dumpty. I am the king's horses AND his men.....and it's a fight to put him back together again.

It'd be really nice if someone took care of me for once.