Sunday, March 04, 2007


I can't wait to move away. Hell I can't wait until I turn 18. A lot of things are going to be opened to me. And I'm gonna love it. I guess. I don't know. I just want to be left alone lately. And it's not even really that I'm struggling something. I'm just sick of faking it. I'm not happy with my life. Or any of the people in it really. I don't really like either of my employers, I'm sick of my parents wanting to control me and putting down all of my thoughts, ideas, and dreams. All my friends are fake. They use me. Every last single one. And I let it be that way because I feel like I don't deserve any better. And I guess I really don't. I don't know. I'm not sure I give a damn.

I'm a whore. Plain and simple. I can sorta see how the rest of my life is going to pan out. Go to college. Make some decent friends. Have kids. Be successful at my job. Die. It really doesn't seem that bad. And besides that's all I'm really supposed to have anyway. Some people aren't supposed to have relationships and closeness. I'm not sure why the media and society is constantly perpetuating the idea that everyone has to be paired off to be ok. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so cheap and easy to take advantage of.

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