Tuesday, August 08, 2006

There's nothing new and that's the not-so-great thing

So I feel sorta kinda like crap. Chest pains, headache, nausea, joint and muscle pain. I guess I'm just really tired and worn down. I've been working late nights. Like getting home at 2 am. Getting up and going to summer school. Dealing with Dad and Matt and then more of the same. I'm just feeling battered. There's really no fun in my life anymore. I don't do anything fun because I'm either too tired or working or have Dad watch. I'd be crying about everything but I guess I'm just too tired to do that too. I'm supposed to be doing lunch with a friend tomorrow (Wednesday), but she didn't call me so I guess we're not doing anything. Cause I mean, we talked last week and said we were doing lunch and that we'd pick the restaurant when we went out. And then I was like I'm on my way and she was like we didn't plan anything so she planned stuff with her mom. I don't know. Phones work both ways and honestly, I get tired easily. I can't always place calls. It's kinda of grating on me to always call people and never get an answer. I rarely call my mother about stuff anymore. Like when something occurs, if I'm going to be at work before she gets home, I just leave sticky notes on the fridge. If that. I don't know. I just can't seem to be bothered to call people that don't answer the phone. Or if they do, they don't have the time to talk. I can quite easily see how "Mary" just stopped calling people. It's a bit of a blow to the ego to call people and not be wanted.

I'm hungry but too tired to get anything to eat. So my mommy is making me a salad and bringing it to me. Which is nice of her. Cause she's nice. I'm not sure that I can get it down and keep it down but I'm going to make an concentrated effort. Maybe I can get some more sleep. Cause God knows I'm dead tired even though I've been sleeping on and off all day.

2 comments:

Highly Feminine Jew Boy said...

im sorry to hear that joy...my house is always open to you...even if you jsut need to get away or need to be held im here...not matter what happens between us ill always be ther for you...if you are feeling really down on yourself dont forget about me...if you dont want to call me...email me or imm me or even read your yearbook...whenever i have a late night depression i read your page and the light becomes visible...but seriously if you ever want to do something let me know and we can

luv ya,
stever

Highly Feminine Jew Boy said...

im sorry to hear that joy...my house is always open to you...even if you jsut need to get away or need to be held im here...not matter what happens between us ill always be ther for you...if you are feeling really down on yourself dont forget about me...if you dont want to call me...email me or imm me or even read your yearbook...whenever i have a late night depression i read your page and the light becomes visible...but seriously if you ever want to do something let me know and we can

luv ya,
stever